Missing documentation for emotional features, common malfunctions, known bugs, and incompatible operating systems.
Department Briefing
Relationship behavior explained like confusing product documentation for emotionally complicated mammals.
Filed Evidence
Proceed with caution; potentially useful
First dates were designed to help two people determine whether they enjoy each other’s company. In practice, they involve rehearsed stories, menu anxiety, accidental interviews, and both people pretending not to evaluate everything.
Useful, but poorly documented
Compliments were designed to make humans feel appreciated. Unfortunately, they can also cause denial, nervous laughter, accidental flirting, and detailed explanations of where a shirt was purchased. This manual explains proper operation.